When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize