yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I checked into jail on foursquare
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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