Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
