I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
