tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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