Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
