Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
