Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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