this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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