Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize