ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
