marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
