there's paper in my vomit.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
