sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
And then he peed in my hair
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