I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Semen is not good for contacts.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica