am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
if only i could text you this smell
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
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just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
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Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon