shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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