THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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