Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
