By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
