he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
