Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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