It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
