the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You can't just leave with hair like that
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
