Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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