where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
