Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
