I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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