Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
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Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
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I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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