I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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