if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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