also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dicks are not precious.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
