East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
