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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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