Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
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I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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