Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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