Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
