He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
