Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
