just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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