if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize