Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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