I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
