Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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