Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
