Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You pole danced in your parka.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
