he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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