you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize