i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
