Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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