a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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