Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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