This girl is more easily done than said...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
