I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
