She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
