we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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